It's about to start. The cricketing rivalry that matters more than any other. Do we call the First Test England versus Australia or Australia versus England? How can the Poms claim a match staged in the neighbouring country of Cymru as a home game?

Michael Jackson is dead, long live the Ashes! With eight hours till the start of the first-ever England v Australia Test to be played on neutral soil, allow me to be pessimistic as well as distasteful:

It would have been a good rugby league score, but it happened on Sunday in the California League, which is to MLB roughly what, oh, Group 6 is to the NRL. The Lake Elsinore Storm defeated the High Desert Mavericks 33-18.

I was not a fan of Michael Jackson. I didn't hugely go for his music. I found his persona and general behaviour in adult life to be repugnant. He was either a pedophile, or dangerously and recklessly naive in his attitude to children.

However, his impact on late 20th century culture was undeniable. I don't doubt the sincerity of the grief shown for him today, even if I am not a part of it myself.

Whatever happened to the principle "Never let the facts get in the way of a good story?"

What an incredible, hilarious waste of time this week has been in the House of Representatives. Has there a more ridiculous non-scandal than Utegate - a stupid, absurdly Australian moniker that befits the stupidity of the whole saga. Here's my Player Ratings on the winners and losers among the Utegate Dramatis Personae:

"The Hon. TONY KELLY (Minister for Police, Minister for Lands, and Minister for Rural Affairs) [12.36 a.m.]: I move:

That the House at its rising this day do adjourn until Tuesday 1 September 2009 at 2.30 p.m.

The Hon. DON HARWIN [12.36 a.m.]: Mr President, I move:

That the question be amended by deleting the words—

The PRESIDENT: Order! In accordance with precedent, as there is no Minister or Parliamentary Secretary in the House, I will now leave the chair until the ringing of the long bell.

Clarence AFL Tasmania footballer Tim Orchard has been suspended indefinitely by his club and ordered to undertake counselling after wilfully permitting his manhood to be televised live on ABC television in the dressing sheds after his club's game on Saturday.

Television has a long history in this country of candid and over-intrusive pre and post-match visits to the dressing room while players are displaying their lack of club colours. Orchard, however, was (otherwise) fully clothed at the time.

Today, June 20, is the centennial of Tasmania's biggest thespian, Errol Flynn. While I pondered some three years ago whether Ricky Ponting was a bigger Tasmanian, his Punterness hasn't been swashing his buckle too well in those live action shorts better known as the ICCWT20 lately.

This has nothing to do with football, but plenty to do with sexism and petty-minded politics going hand in hand.

By way of background, here is Senator Sarah Hanson-Young's interview with Sky News Australia yesterday, including footage of Thursday afternoon's incident in the Senate when her two-year daughter was forcibly ejected from the chamber while the division bells were ringing because, consistent with Standing Orders, the toddler was a "stranger":