It's almost time. The Opening Ceremony is this Friday night, 6am Saturday morning here in Sydney. They've often been described in the past as The Friendly Games. This time many are describing them as The Social Games, a reflection of the exponential growth in social media since 2008. But the organisers would like to regulate what we say about the Games of the XXX Olympiad as much as possible. All in the name of protecting the massive investment of their commercial partners.

The ambush marketing rules are draconian, that's nothing new, but they have never involved the heavy-handed changes of legislation and the overwhelming enforcement that is to be applied for the London Olympics.

There's even a list of words that are not to be used on their own, or in combination with others. Under UK law, it seems, you can't use the words Olympics, Paralympics, LOCOG or "London 2012" in ways that imply official endorsement.

Furthermore, there is a List A and List B of words that are prohibited in certain combinations. List A comprises Games, Two Thousand and Twelve, 2012 and Twenty-Twelve. List B includes London, Medals, Sponsor, Gold, Silver, Bronze.

You can't use two List A terms together or one List A with one or more List B. Sounds like the opposite of opening a bank account, doesn't it?

But to hell with it: Twenty-Twelve London Games Olympic Bronze Medals.

This blog post at The Spectator website tells more of the sheer absurdity of the heavy-handedness of LOCOG (oops did I just use a banned word?).

Relevant UK legislation (and no I haven't read them): the Olympic Symbol etc. (Protection) Act 1995 and the London Olympic Games and Paralympic Games Act 2006.

Friendly Games? Social Games? I think London 2012 may be heading for the moniker The Miserable Games.

Words you can't use in public? Take it away, George Carlin: