(Music adapted from "Guantanamera" by Joseito Fernandez. Lyrics adapted from a nightmare by R.Eyre)
One Stuart Clark,
There's only one Stuart Clark,
One Stuart Clar-kie,
There's only one Stuart Clar-keeee....
Two days to play at the Home of Archery. The only element of doubt is whether Australia will lose on Day Four or Day Five. Personally, I'd like to get some sleep on Monday night. What will the NSP-on-the-road do to the Aussie eleven for the Third Test? There's a disturbing possibility that England have Phil Hughes' measure. Mr Cricket has made one decent innings. Brad Haddin's wicketkeeping reminds us that Graeme Manou is in town. Mitchell Johnson is in meltdown. Sid Vicious' bowling belongs somewhere in the range from Johnny Rotten to Nancy.
You do have to hand something to the NSP-on-the-road, they showed their faith in Ben Hilfenhaus and Nathan Hauritz when the rest of us did not. But there is only one hope for Australia in the rest of the series. His name is not Brett Lee, and it's definitely not Shane Watson. There's only
One Stuart Clark,
There's only one Stuart Clark,
One Stuart Clar-kie,
There's only one Stuart Clar-keeee....
The Midwinter-Midwinter points for Saturday. Three points to Matthew Prior. Two to Paul Collingwood, as much for walking as anything else. He's making a real break for it at the lead of the pack. One point to Nathan "The Claw" Hauritz, but Lord('s) I wish it was
One: Stuart Clark,
There's only one Stuart Clark,
One Stuart Clar-kie,
There's only one Stuart Clar-keeee....
Never mind Freddie Flintoff's farewell tour, perhaps it's time for Ricky Ponting to announce that it is his final series as Australian captain. Unless, of course, he feels the need to go out on a winning note against the West Indies in the first half of the 2009-10 Australian season. (You know, those non-unionised West Indian players who are giving Bangladesh such a torrid time at the moment.) Of course, if Ricky wants to do something historic and unprecedented, he could fall on his sword mid-tour, ie, as soon as the Lord's Test is over. No great loss, of course, because there's
One Michael Clarke,
There's only one Michael Clarke,
One Michael Clar-kie,
There's only one Michael Clar-keeee....
Correction. There's actually
Two Michael Clarkes,
There's only two Michael Clarkes,
Two Michael Clar-kies,
There's only two Michael Clar-keeees....
Chorus one more time:
One Stuart Clark,
There's only one Stuart Clark,
One Stuart Clar-kie,
There's only one Stuart Clar-keeee....