Eng-ger-land.... sigh

"The performance in the Ashes series has been a great disappointment and a number of lessons must be learned. This review will be comprehensive and broad ranging with the clear objective of regaining the Ashes in 2009 and significantly improving England's results in one-day international cricket in the next four year cycle."

- ECB chief executive David Collier, 5.1.07

So there you have it. The England and Wales Cricket Board announced yesterday that they will arrange a board meeting to discuss the process for forming the composition of a review team to examine England's performances over the last few years and [complete this sentence in 25 words or more].

I don't think I've been so disappointed with any cricket team as I have with the England side of 2006-07. If Steve Harmison's mega-wide at the Gabba was the fitting overture for this series, the England tail's walk-on-walk-off cameo appearances on Friday morning made for a proper finale.

There were two teams out there. Yes, they were both playing cricket, but one wanted to win and knew how to do it. The other played like as if the page in the dictionary with "win" on it had been ripped out.

England certainly suffered from the absences of Vaughan, Trescothick, Simon Jones, but there were plenty of selectorial duds just the same: the wrong Andrew was captain, Monty should have played the whole series, Read should have kept wicket throughout, and as for Pietersen in the middle order... but this has all been repeated ad infinitum by everyone else in the past few days.

Here's a prediction to ponder: John Buchanan to erase the memory of Middlesex 1998 and succeed DAG Fletcher as England coach?

Excuse me while I remove the remains of that pig that crashed into the window.

Postscript: Remember that time when googling miserable failure would take you to President Bush?