A Twenty20 blowout, but do we care?

And at the end of the fourth over, South Africa are nine for two. Yes folks, Twenty20 cricket explodes onto the Gabba!

To take the words of Bill Woodfull seriously out of context, there were two teams out on the field on Monday night, and only one of them was playing Twenty20 cricket. Australia, having lost their last Twenty20 international by a margin of 100 runs (in England last June), beat South Africa by 95 runs in front of the largest crowd to pack into the Brisbane Cricket Ground in modern times. And here's one big advantage 20-20 has over ODIs - you don't have to hang around for ages waiting for a badly-trailing side batting second to lose the game.

So despite the blowout that Monday night's game became, at least the South African innings was all over in 78 minutes. They were nobbled when Nathan "Bracks" Bracken took two wickets in the third over of the South African innings, and despite the best efforts of Shaun "Pollock" Pollock and Jacques "Kallis" Kallis, the game slipped further and further away.

When Johan "Botha" Botha lost his wicket at the start of the 18th over, South Africa passed the threshhold of mathematical impossibility, a required run-rate of 36.0 per over. Perhaps we need a mercy rule, or maybe just more loud music over the PA.

When it came to the player nicknames on their backs, there really was only one team playing the game. Australia had Catfish, Marto, Punter, Roy, Pup, Mr Cricket, BJ, Kat, Bracks, Sarfraz and Billy. (How dare Mick Lewis take Craig McDermott's name in vain?) South Africa has Smith, Dippenaar, Gibbs, Boucher, Pollock, Kallis, Rudolph, Hall, Botha, no name and no name. Garnett Kruger and Monde Zondeki wore shirts with no name or number on their backs at all.

As for Channel Nine's telecast of the game, they opened up with a moment of televisual horror unsuitable for the kiddies at 7.30pm - the commentators were NOT WEARING ANY TIES! There they were, Heals, Tubby, Slats and Nickers with bare flesh exuding from their throats. More interesting for me was the ABC radio commentary, and it became quite clear that Kerry O'Keeffe and Twenty20 cricket is a match made in heaven. (Highlights of the radio commentary are available from the ABC website in MP3).

You'll get no dispute from me that Twenty20 cricket is fun and is going to be around for a long time to come. However, I see it only as a piece of light-hearted, even comic relief punctuating a long, serious cricket season. Twenty20 is a niche game, and any national competition is best scheduled within the space of a week or so, as Cricket Australia has done with the "KFC 20/20 Big Bash", and indeed as the ECB are doing, blocking out three weeks at the height of summer for their Twenty20 Cup.

It shouldn't be allowed to devour the longer forms of the game, nor put more pressure on the already crowded international schedules. There's talk of a Twenty20 World Cup, but I can only see that going the way of the Hong Kong Sixes, where the world's cricketing nations are represented by third-string internationals or retirees making their comeback for the weekend.

New South Wales will host the Big Bash final against Victoria at North Sydney Oval on Saturday January 21. I am feeling duty bound to be there.

Finally, a quote from John Winston Howard on Twenty20 cricket, published by Melbourne's Sunday Age on December 18:

It doesn't appeal to me one bit. Don't expect me to go and watch Twenty20 cricket. It's too much like baseball. Not that I dislike baseball, but if you're going to watch baseball, well, go to Yankee Stadium and watch it.

In one foul swoop, he has not just betrayed his carefully coiffured image as a "cricket tragic", but insulted all who play and follow baseball in Australia. Perhaps Australia's Number One Sports Fan has forgotten (or never actually noticed) that Australia won the silver medal in baseball at the Athens Olympics.